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  1. #1
    9,000rpm (S2000 Redline!) R8edM's Avatar
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    Stupid Office Etiquette

    BHP has come out with some new office rules/etiquette - http://www.stuff.co.nz/business/worl...ct-staff-rules

    Theres a couple rules in there that are obviously good like no food that smell, but the no signage on your desk is just silly. If your sitting around a desk for 8+- hours a day, you want to make it "homely", chuck up a photo of your drunk times at the work party etc.

    Which made me think of what silly office rules we have at work.

    At the gym:
    - Before you help a client you must look at the mirror and smile to yourself. On a bad day, its the worst when the boss is like "Have you smiled in the mirror today?".

    Whats your works silly office rules?
    Quote Originally Posted by Nakai-San RAUH WELT Begriff
    Whether people's opinions are good or bad, I welcome both, feedback is a good thing.
    The fact that my work caught their attention makes me happy
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  2. #2
    9,000rpm (S2000 Redline!) BUMP's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    I dont work in an office but Fonterra has some of the gayest H&S rules around, almost to the point where you aren't allowed to think for yourself.
    Circle Jerk Crew!!! Two many awards to list.

  3. #3
    8,000rpm (B Series Redline!) kiwi pauly's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    I'm a engineer and I'm not allowed to swear in the fucking office! - that's like, almost impossible!
    " Do not think yourself more clever than anybody else, for this will lead you into many a troublesome mistake." http://www.acjs.co.nz

  4. #4
    4,000rpm (Taxi Drag) magnazan's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Back in the UK in my early working days we wern't allowed to use headphones to listen to music.
    Originally Posted by bmgjet
    Because when your drunk you have the vtec in your legs.

  5. #5
    Support Team: Forum Admin Matty's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    My contract states that if I am seen drunk or stoned, even outside of work hours, I can be instantly dismissed.
    Bloody Volvo driver.

  6. #6
    9,000rpm (S2000 Redline!) R8edM's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Matty View Post
    My contract states that if I am seen drunk or stoned, even outside of work hours, I can be instantly dismissed.
    Like the school rules, if your seen smoking or drinking in uniform you will be expelled.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nakai-San RAUH WELT Begriff
    Whether people's opinions are good or bad, I welcome both, feedback is a good thing.
    The fact that my work caught their attention makes me happy
    .

  7. #7
    Governor-General GecKo's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    The article states that it's for their hot seating areas. Hot seating is when you don't have a desk, you turn up to work and find any space that is free, get your laptop out and get to work. So the next day you might turn up to a different desk, or even a different office, in a different country.

    For that purpose, I agree with those rules.

  8. #8
    Team NZH: Chairman Logger's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Basic rules for the office I work in:

    No nudity
    Racial slurs and taunts kept to a minimum
    Swearing acceptable, with the exception of the C bomb
    Youngest staff member takes all the flak for everything.

  9. #9
    Team NZH: Committee tysonzane's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Fuck my work is awesome for day to day things. Very relaxed, swearing is encouraged to get it out of your system, lunch breaks are casual and not enforced for time limits and pictures are around the office every where!

    I cant fault the place - only qerky rule is no jeans but as I type this I am wearing jeans and do wear them most days, its more just dont wear a rough or gangster pair etc.

  10. #10
    700rpm (Idle) Crompton445's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    No major rules like that in my office.
    Pretty sure I could have a beer at my desk and no one would bat an eyelid.
    However we have recently banned the use of headphone as I was fucking over having to ask things twice, its not too much of a problem as I can blast music from my imac.
    Swearing is allowed however infront of customer not very appropriate, like I did yesterday hahaha opps. He was old maybe he didnt hear.
    If I had to remove the post its from my screen I would be so lost, everything would be forgotten, what a dumb rule!

    Ohh I also got rid of having hot food in the office. Not my idea I always ate at my desk and who doesn't like the smell of KFC anyhow!!!

  11. #11
    9,000rpm (S2000 Redline!) BUMP's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Logger View Post
    Basic rules for the office I work in:

    No nudity
    Racial slurs and taunts kept to a minimum
    Swearing acceptable, with the exception of the C bomb
    Youngest staff member takes all the flak for everything.
    Sigh... i wouldn't last 2 minutes.

    My general greeting for everyone is "sup cunt?"
    Circle Jerk Crew!!! Two many awards to list.

  12. #12
    700rpm (Idle) Crompton445's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by R8edM View Post
    Like the school rules, if your seen smoking or drinking in uniform you will be expelled.
    Sure if you are in uniform, out on a weekend thats bullshit. Glad my workplace ain't like that. The girl I worked with won a wet t contest with us all there lol, inappropriate talk at the office that next week!!

  13. #13
    5,000rpm (VTEC Power!) Xplaya's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by tysonzane View Post
    Fuck my work is awesome for day to day things. Very relaxed, swearing is encouraged to get it out of your system, lunch breaks are casual and not enforced for time limits and pictures are around the office every where!

    I cant fault the place - only qerky rule is no jeans but as I type this I am wearing jeans and do wear them most days, its more just dont wear a rough or gangster pair etc.
    lol exactly like my work...

    We have a colleague that swears alot 2. Everyone knows hes does, he doesnt give a F... and so doesnt anyone else in the building... As long as he gets the work done, hes good.
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  14. #14
    5,000rpm (VTEC Power!) WhiteRice's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    I read somewhere that working under Ron Dennis at McLaren is quite draconian.

    Denim is forbidden

    You are not allowed more than two items on your desk at once. If you take the calculator out of the drawer, you have to put the post-it notes back into the drawer.

    One employee was told he had to shave twice during his shift each day to avoid having any 5 o'clock shadow

    Ron Dennis himself is so pedantic that he redesigned the floor layout of their new factory so that it would fit the exact number of his favorite floor tile, plus grout, and they wouldn't have any cut tiles.He also redesigned the liquid soap dispensers in the bathrooms, because he was annoyed at them for leaking soap on the benches. So McLaren bathrooms have custom-made, milled aluminum, McLaren brand soap dispensers
    Now rolling VSpec as well as VTEC
    OPEC loves me

  15. #15
    Troll King Mr. Shine's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Avoid using the elevators immediately at the beginning or end of Court breaks for Judges' convenience. Don't jump in the lifts with Judges already inside.

    Most Judges aren't that strict about it, but a few are really anal/elitist about it.

  16. #16
    Team NZH: Chairman Logger's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by BUMP View Post
    Sigh... i wouldn't last 2 minutes.

    My general greeting for everyone is "sup cunt?"
    My supervisor swears more than I do. I'm known as the quiet one in our office.

    I hot seat at Lichfield and admittedly the BHP rules do seem pretty fair, nothing worse than showing up to the office and someone elses stuff is everywhere.

  17. #17
    9,000rpm (S2000 Redline!) DURTYEF3's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Sigh... i wouldn't last 2 minutes.

    My general greeting for everyone is "sup cunt?"
    Same here bro! To certain people anyways. My works pretty relaxed, im behind secure doors most the time so can do/wear whatever really. Its pretty common sense not too look like a clown/gangster when moving around representing the company on business or whatever.

    Cool thing with my work is the Senior management right up too the national manager that is based here is very approachable. Always give the regional manager shit over his little toyota corolla run around when his 2010/2011 whatever car is in the shop & have even told the CEO to getta honda! Hes a good cunt

    Am down with the smelly food rule though. Not to be racist at all, but it seems some of the korean/malaysian tutors at my work bring in the most smelliest food ever. Then again it could well be not my cup of tea but still!!

  18. #18
    Team NZH: Committee nykon's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Just keeping your desk and appearance tidy are the only real enforced rules here. Most importantly this is because clients come through on tours of the datacentre now and then... and it's respectful to workmates if you aren't a slob.

    Other things like personal hygiene issues and excessive laziness (i.e. spending all day on Youtube) are generally dealt with on a case by case basis. Our employment criteria is quite strict, and personality plays a big part in selection, so haven't really had any major issues. The CEO works between Auckland and Christchurch, and is a really nice guy that you can talk to anything about, work related or not... the same with pretty much anyone here.
    CL9 | EF9
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  19. #19
    9,000rpm (S2000 Redline!) DURTYEF3's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    The CEO works between Auckland and Christchurch, and is a really nice guy that you can talk to anything about, work related or not... the same with pretty much anyone here.
    Tell you what man, thats probably the coolest thing about management like that. I cant recall how many times i wanted to waste my last manager cuz he was a turd!@ They are management of course & i've heard the countless "ive worked this long to get here, been here bla bla bla" stories at previous employers.

    Funnily enough more work gets done, and the staff stay positive when things aren't like that.

  20. #20
    9,000rpm (S2000 Redline!) BUMP's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Logger View Post
    My supervisor swears more than I do.
    At our training day at the start of the season one of the 30yr vets stands up and starts waving around his hand yelling "ive told you cunts this would happen, if you dickheads had've listened to me we wouldn't be in this problem"

    some funny shit!
    Circle Jerk Crew!!! Two many awards to list.

  21. #21
    8,000rpm (B Series Redline!) Reaper_2000's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    no rules at my new workplace that i know of yet! shit is cruisy in that regard.

    totally agree with the whole 'no post-it notes left on hot desks' and 'no hot smelly food', that shit is disgusting
    Quote Originally Posted by wagonman View Post
    did anyone see the guys nut hanging out his undies when he got down to show his spunk stain on the carpet

  22. #22
    6,000rpm (Max Torque) vtec_junky's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Shine View Post
    Avoid using the elevators immediately at the beginning or end of Court breaks for Judges' convenience. Don't jump in the lifts with Judges already inside.

    Most Judges aren't that strict about it, but a few are really anal/elitist about it.
    WTF arrogant bastards, what judges are better than everyone else? no wonder legal system in this place is fucked.
    Quote Originally Posted by DrRubber View Post
    .....you cryed to NZH.....you cryed to him....he told you to GTFO.......you did......we lol'd

  23. #23
    Support Team: Forum Admin Matty's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Swearing etc is commonplace in the Wellington office but since I'm close to a customer area in Hastings I try desperately to keep it under control.

    While I'm not supposed to, I say what I want to higher-ups within reason, because they need me, I don't need them. I've had a stand-up (work-related) verbal stoush with the Aussie-based CIO (well, ex-CIO, he "took early retirement" after not heeding the advice of those of us who knew better) to the point where he hesitated to share a lift with me later that evening. Executives have to earn my respect, not be granted it just because they've sucked up the right ass and wasted enough time at Uni to obtain pointless pieces of paper. Until then, I will tolerate them until they slide on to the next position and waste someone else's money by making ill-judged decisions based upon ignoring sound advice. I am not a fan of Executives. The trick is to know just how far you can go without breaching your employment conditions.
    Bloody Volvo driver.

  24. #24
    9,000rpm (S2000 Redline!) madDC4's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Matty View Post
    Executives have to earn my respect, not be granted it just because they've sucked up the right ass and wasted enough time at Uni to obtain pointless pieces of paper. Until then, I will tolerate them until they slide on to the next position and waste someone else's money by making ill-judged decisions based upon ignoring sound advice. I am not a fan of Executives. The trick is to know just how far you can go without breaching your employment conditions.
    100% agree with this comment.

    Spot on
    "I feel like I just got off a f*cking roller coaster" - Hulk Hogan

  25. #25
    3,000rpm (Grandma Drag)
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    Re: Stupid Office Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by BUMP View Post
    I dont work in an office but Fonterra has some of the gayest H&S rules around, almost to the point where you aren't allowed to think for yourself.
    Having been an H&S Advisor for 2.5 years in the milling industry I can tell you some of the dumbest events you would ever contemplate, and you would say "No one with half a brain would do that"...well I've seen a lot. And after hearing some shared safety moments in my time with Fonterra so far...if you think we have some crazy rules...think again, this place has nothing on some in the construction/mining industry.
    To discover new horizons you must first lose sight of the shore.

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