The difference between National and Labour...

[David R]

A young woman was about to finish her first year at university. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a Labour supporter and very liberal. Among her other liberal ideals, she was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed of her father who was a staunch Nationalite, a feeling she openly expressed.
Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor (who sported a full beard), she felt that her father had for years, harboured an evil selfish desire to keep what he thought, should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes for the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing at university.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had passes in 4 subjects, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many varsity friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, ‘How is your friend Clarrisa doing?’
She replied, ‘Clarrisa is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she has only 2 passes. But she is ever so popular on campus; varsity for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s too hung over.’
Her wise father asked his daughter, ‘Why don’t you go to the Chancellor’s office and ask him to deduct 1 pass off you and give it to your friend who only has 2 passes. That way you will both have 3 passes and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of passes’.
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired back, ‘That’s a crazy idea, and how would that be fair! I’ve worked really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Clarrisa has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!’
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, ‘Welcome to the National party.’

[mithere]

lol I like it

[mrslippyfingers]

Haha I got this in an email the other day, fantastic!

This one came in as well...

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays

the summer away. **

**Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: **
Prepare for what’s ahead. Work diligently.

-------------------------------------------

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays

the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.

TV1, TV3 and Maori TV show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
table filled with food. New Zealand is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper

is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Good Morning with the grasshopper, and
everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Sue Bradford stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where
the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.

Michael Cullen exclaims in an interview with John Campbell that the ant
has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an
immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share as the ant
is too much of a "Rich Prick."

Finally, the Labour Party drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper
Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green
bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the government.

Winston gets his old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
judges that Helen appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens
to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house,
now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once
peaceful neighbourhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: **
**Be VERY careful how you vote in 2008!!*

[Dezigns]

hahaha awesomeness

[domanib18b]

great stories haha
very important moral as well

[americ_ian]

haha we were just talking about this at work just now... i just finished a WINZ job on a mazda ms8... $1200 worth of work done to get it a wof... included in the price was A WOF and A service....

now im thinking... WTF!!!! WINZ(aka taxpayers) pay FOR THEIR WOF!!! and WOF WORK!! and a free SERVICE as well!!!!

thanks uncle helen!!!!!

If you cant afford to maintain a car (wofs, services) u dont deserve to own a car...

[Soichiro]

OK then





Oh WTF

[Robbie]

wow...you no i think the best political answers come from people that absolutly fuck all about politics

lets all just vote the greens, then we can be high as a kite as the country turns to shit!!

[BUMP]

That was fantastic...

Waits for baxter

[itekdu]

Originally Posted by BUMP

Waits for baxter

Lulz. Hard out

[SoL]

seems like everything in life is gets taken cared for by unkle helen nowadays .... food, gambling money, housing, car, health care, kids.... hell... guess we should probably start paying for their P money ... and when they die.. their funeral as well....

[CharlesC]

Originally Posted by SoL

gambling money

its an amazing how full the casino gets around dole day lol.