The Auckland Road Code....

Terrence Bell · 9th February 2003, 01:52 AM

Saw this on another forum can't remember where!

but here goes..

The Auckland road code

09/02/2003

Memo: visitors to Auckland over the holidays. Aucklanders are
multi-taskers, quick thinkers. Auckland men can yell at the ref and buy
imitation art at the same time. Auckland women can drive with a
cellphone in one hand and lipstick and a light pasta lunch in the other.
Aucklanders have their own road code, called the Auckland Drive to
Survive Guide.

* Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Auckland driver
never uses them.

* Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you
and the car in front - someone else will fill in that space, putting you
in an even more dangerous situation.

* Crossing two or more lanes in a single manoeuvre is considered "going
with the flow".

* The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of
getting hit.

* Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
panelbeating. The other driver has nothing to lose.

* Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that
your ABS anti-lock system kicks in. For those of you without ABS, it's a
chance to stretch your legs.

* Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are
apparently not enforceable in the CBD during rush hour.

* Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during
rush-hour traffic in Auckland.

* Always slow down and rubber-neck when you see an accident or someone
changing a tyre.

* Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours, especially 4WD
drivers.

* Learn to swerve abruptly. Auckland is the home of high-speed slalom
driving, thanks to Transit NZ and the city councils, who put potholes in
key locations to test drivers' reflexes.

* It is traditional in Auckland to toot your horn at cars that don't
move the instant the light turns green.

* Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.

* Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left
before proceeding.

* Remember that the goal of every Auckland driver is to get there first,
by whatever means necessary.

* Real Auckland women drivers can apply eye makeup at 75km/h in
bumper-to-bumper traffic.

* Heavy fog and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously
listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring a
natural selection process for panelbeaters, junkyards and new vehicle
sales.

* There is a common belief in Auckland that high-speed tailgating in
heavy traffic reduces petrol consumption as you get sucked along in the
slipstream of the car in front.

* It's okay to cut off fully loaded trucks and buses because they have
good brakes.

* Always anticipate oncoming traffic when driving down a one-way street.

BTW I am a original Orclander so I can take the piss outta us

dethy · 9th February 2003, 10:51 AM

So many of those are so true

NAspirated · 9th February 2003, 12:44 PM

dont you mean all of those are true..

i like the women and their make up.....very good

RJ · 9th February 2003, 12:50 PM

100% true, I love driving in Auckland :twisted:

icedale · 9th February 2003, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
panelbeating. The other driver has nothing to lose.

Right on...

gothecivic · 9th February 2003, 01:18 PM

Haha nice!

sonar · 9th February 2003, 07:37 PM

lol
those are so true... espeically the ones about the women.... *prepares to get abused*

Twizzla · 9th February 2003, 10:40 PM

hahahahaha, my experiences with driving in Auckland show these are very accurate

David R · 10th February 2003, 04:08 PM

I disagree with the first one. One of the reasons I like driving in auckland is people know how to use their indicators and drive in lanes, unlike whangarei which is full of doddery old people and hicks who have no idea what indicators or lanes are for...

cyberwired · 14th February 2003, 04:06 PM

I'm a little confussed here...

Could someone explain what an 'indicator' or 'turn signals' are??

Yeah I am a JAFA and proud of it lol

Terrence Bell · 14th February 2003, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cyberwired

I'm a little confussed here...

Could someone explain what an 'indicator' or 'turn signals' are??

Yeah I am a JAFA and proud of it lol

Funny one .. really!

sirex · 25th February 2003, 08:39 PM

You think that Auckland is bad.

Try driving in the UK! They are quite courteous, but terrible drivers.

Blitza · 25th February 2003, 09:19 PM

indicators? hahahahhahahhahahhahhahhahaa!!!

need to resit my offensive driving course......

TegTeg · 26th February 2003, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sirex

You think that Auckland is bad.

Try driving in the UK! They are quite courteous, but terrible drivers.

Who watched Britains Worst Drivers on Prime. I watched it for the first time last night. 8O

I couldn't believe some of these people still have a license, or insurance :!:

PH4T SI · 7th March 2003, 01:55 AM

can anyone come up with a christchurch road code, if not ill get back to you lot on that

Terrence Bell · 7th March 2003, 02:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PH4T SI

can anyone come up with a christchurch road code, if not ill get back to you lot on that

just take the above and apply to CHCH other wise get friends to tell ya things they have seen and write up a list

9th February 2003, 01:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
Terrence Bell Senior Member 3,000rpm (Grandma Drag) Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 498	The Auckland Road Code.... Saw this on another forum can't remember where! but here goes.. The Auckland road code 09/02/2003 Memo: visitors to Auckland over the holidays. Aucklanders are multi-taskers, quick thinkers. Auckland men can yell at the ref and buy imitation art at the same time. Auckland women can drive with a cellphone in one hand and lipstick and a light pasta lunch in the other. Aucklanders have their own road code, called the Auckland Drive to Survive Guide. * Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Auckland driver never uses them. * Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front - someone else will fill in that space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation. * Crossing two or more lanes in a single manoeuvre is considered "going with the flow". * The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit. * Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive panelbeating. The other driver has nothing to lose. * Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that your ABS anti-lock system kicks in. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs. * Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in the CBD during rush hour. * Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in Auckland. * Always slow down and rubber-neck when you see an accident or someone changing a tyre. * Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours, especially 4WD drivers. * Learn to swerve abruptly. Auckland is the home of high-speed slalom driving, thanks to Transit NZ and the city councils, who put potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes. * It is traditional in Auckland to toot your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green. * Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way. * Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding. * Remember that the goal of every Auckland driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary. * Real Auckland women drivers can apply eye makeup at 75km/h in bumper-to-bumper traffic. * Heavy fog and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring a natural selection process for panelbeaters, junkyards and new vehicle sales. * There is a common belief in Auckland that high-speed tailgating in heavy traffic reduces petrol consumption as you get sucked along in the slipstream of the car in front. * It's okay to cut off fully loaded trucks and buses because they have good brakes. * Always anticipate oncoming traffic when driving down a one-way street. BTW I am a original Orclander so I can take the piss outta us __________________ It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

9th February 2003, 12:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
NAspirated Senior Member 7,000rpm (Peak Power) Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 3,881 Location: Auckland	dont you mean all of those are true.. i like the women and their make up.....very good __________________ PM me for: General Mechanical work, Engine/gearbox Rebuilds, Cylinder head and manifold Porting, Brake and Clutches and everything in between

9th February 2003, 12:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
RJ Team NZH: Mod 7,000rpm (Peak Power) Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 3,379 Location: Auckland	100% true, I love driving in Auckland :twisted: __________________ 1992 Civic (B16B) - MSNZ track spec. and 2005 Accord Euro Formula Honda Offshore Powerboat Racing

9th February 2003, 01:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
gothecivic Senior Member 5,000rpm (VTEC Power!) Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 925 Location: Auckland	Haha nice! __________________ Current: CL9 Euro LS Ex: '92 EG Gti, '98 Audi A6, '96 DB8 SiR

9th February 2003, 07:37 PM	#7 (permalink)
sonar Senior Member 5,000rpm (VTEC Power!) Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,408	lol those are so true... espeically the ones about the women.... prepares to get abused __________________ hmmm... need to think of something profound to say...

9th February 2003, 10:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
dethy Senior Member 4,000rpm (Taxi Drag) Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 555 Location: Auckland	So many of those are so true

9th February 2003, 10:40 PM	#8 (permalink)
Twizzla Senior Member 5,000rpm (VTEC Power!) Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 939	hahahahaha, my experiences with driving in Auckland show these are very accurate __________________ .: www.distractionz.co.nz :.

10th February 2003, 04:08 PM	#9 (permalink)
David R Team NZH: Mod 11,000rpm (Spoon B16B!!) Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 8,873 Location: Auckland	I disagree with the first one. One of the reasons I like driving in auckland is people know how to use their indicators and drive in lanes, unlike whangarei which is full of doddery old people and hicks who have no idea what indicators or lanes are for...

14th February 2003, 04:06 PM	#10 (permalink)
cyberwired Member 700rpm (Idle) Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 93	I'm a little confussed here... Could someone explain what an 'indicator' or 'turn signals' are?? Yeah I am a JAFA and proud of it lol

25th February 2003, 08:39 PM	#12 (permalink)
sirex Senior Member 5,000rpm (VTEC Power!) Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,092	You think that Auckland is bad. Try driving in the UK! They are quite courteous, but terrible drivers. __________________ My car is kool, yeah right!

25th February 2003, 09:19 PM	#13 (permalink)
Blitza Senior Member 4,000rpm (Taxi Drag) Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 607 Location: Waitakere	indicators? hahahahhahahhahahhahhahhahaa!!! need to resit my offensive driving course...... __________________ don't want to wish you could reset and play it again.... SUPERCHIC[K]

7th March 2003, 01:55 AM	#15 (permalink)
PH4T SI Senior Member 5,000rpm (VTEC Power!) Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,363 Location: Waitakere	can anyone come up with a christchurch road code, if not ill get back to you lot on that __________________ aww crap, did i just say something retarded? yep..........

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